Inferiority

I have felt inferior to people with material wealth all my life!  I don't know why, because I wasn't raised in a poor environment!  Somewhere along the way, I got a false belief of myself as being poor and inferior to many of the people I met and befriended.

This inferior way of thinking caused me to shrink within myself and feel unnecessary shame and guilt.  I think this is even why I may have choose some relationships, I never felt worthy of a person I viewed as good. I had shrunk myself so low that I could only function on a level that stifled and frustrated me.

My time in Rhode Island has allowed my to evolve in ways I couldn't living in the state where I was born and raised.  I've been able to share my experience of breaking free and it isn't wrapped in the package that I perceived as good.  I recently realized that although I don't have millions, I still have something of value to offer to people with millions. I am worthy and equal in every way!

I've got something of value to offer ever person that comes along my path.  There recognition of it or my lack of identifying the need of the moment, doesn't diminish my worth!  I've just got to be more present and in the former, realize another person's opinion of me doesn't make me better or worse.  My value is priceless because I am the only me that will ever be created!

I'm standing a bit taller and it feels good😊.

Small Beginnings

Rome wasn't built in a day, the Pyramids took approximately twenty years to build, the Empire State Building took 1 year and 45 days to complete, America was under British rule for more than a 100 years before gaining Independence, it took 5 years to build the Burj Khalifa, it took Bill Gates and Steve Jobs years to build Microsoft and Apple, respectively and God completed His work in 6 days (He rested on the 7th). 

A goal requires time to complete. Even a small goal such as holding your breath under water for 30 seconds, takes 30 seconds (of course you have to think of the goal before executing)! And the ironic fact is, most massive projects start with small goals or random hobbies.  They evolve because once the smaller goals are completed or you think about something long enough, bigger things can be achieved, if you build upon the foundation you've created.

Bill Gates didn't start with a dream of building Microsoft. He loved computers and focused on them for hours a day, he started small and it became big!  The Spirit of God was "hovering over the waters" before He started creation!  In other words, He spent time thinking over nothing and it became something big!

We are created in God's image and likeness.  We start with a small crumb and it becomes big if we focus and build upon the foundation of small beginnings!

and Then There was Light...

I've been in the light for almost 3 years.  I choose the light when the only twenty year plan I could envision was stagnation in muddled waters.  Death and darkness lingered in my soul, like unwelcome house guests.  Yet that small ray of light, which dwells in the unknown places of my deepest innermost heart, warmed the coldness enough to sustain a glimmer of hope.

That hope turned to faith and then I believed in the light.

That small ray of light burns like the sun and is much more powerful than the darkness that seems to engulf it brilliance. It is the light that cuts the darkness and the darkness cannot overtake the light.

I've been in the light for almost three years.  The beam of its rays are so bright that my eyes are just beginning to adjust.  I can only open my eyes a sliver, and that's just for moments at a time.

I've known the light, I'm no stranger to its goodness. 

However, this darkness was upon me for a six or seven year stretch. It blinded me to options and choices and I couldn't see my path...

My eyes are still adjusting to the light, which means I still experience the darkness, but the light is so bright its energetic force pulls me towards itself.

And then there was light...